Warthog-Faced Buffoon
by chibinightowl
Summary: Bruce's lips twitched into one of his rare smiles. "It has everything. Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."


Note: I'm slowly starting to bring over some of my works from Ao3 to FFNet. Here's the one that started it all! :)

* * *

Damian glared at the television. As far as he could see, it was a good source of information on current events and that was it. But tonight, Dick had other ideas.

It was a movie night.

He _hated_ movie nights.

Movie nights involved popcorn and pizza, which weren't so bad, but they often included that waste of space Drake now that he and Grayson had reconciled. Father on occasion too, depending on the movie.

But that night, everyone was in the movie room, including Pennyworth who had just placed a tray of milkshakes on the table. Bruce was settling into his chair and Drake was curled up in the corner of the large sofa. Grayson was setting up the movie.

"I love this movie," said Tim as he reached for his milkshake. "I've been looking forward to it."

" _Ttt_ ," sniffed Damian as he also reached for his shake. "You enjoy all of these ridiculous movies that Grayson selects."

"Now Damian," said Dick as he came and sat on the sofa, remote in one hand and a shake in the other. " _The Princess Bride_ is a classic."

"You say that about each film you make me watch," Damian replies dryly."In this case, it's true," Bruce finally chimed in.

Damian looked at his father. It was rare that he ever spoke up during movie night, but to agree with Dick and Tim…"What's so classic about it?"

Bruce's lips twitched into one of his rare smiles. "It has everything. Fencing, fighting, revenge. True love."

For some reason Grayson and Drake started laughing. Even Pennyworth gave a small chuckle.

"I promise, you'll like this one," said Dick, scooting closer to Damian on the sofa and somehow managing to sprawl while sitting upright. He hit play.

Damian just glared at him.

* * *

A few nights later, Nightwing and Robin were on patrol together. It was a quiet night as evidenced by the bored chatter on the open comm channel as the others worked their own solo patrols.

" _And then Tam said…Oh hey, a mugging!_ " Tim broke off suddenly. The sound of someone getting hit hard came across the comms.

Dick laughed. " _And Tam said…_ POW! _I can totally see her putting the smackdown on you Red."_

" _Shut up,"_ replied Tim, the sound of another hit coming through loud and clear.

" _Pretty sure that was directed at you, Bigbird,"_ said an unexpected voice. It wasn't uncommon for Red Hood to hack into their comm lines, but it was for him to speak up.

 _"_ _Little Wing!"_ said Dick, obviously excited about the prospect of his estranged little brother joining in on the snark session going on. _"Slow night?"_

 _"_ _Obviously,"_ said Robin. " _Why else would anyone bother taking part in this inane discussion?"_

 _"_ _So you have been paying attention…"_ Jason said gleefully. _"Anytime I hear about the Replacement getting his ass handed to him in any way, I'm at least listening."_

 _"_ _Gee, thanks,"_ said Tim. " _Remind me to check the security on our comms again."_ A few grunts echoed across the line as Red Robin zip-tied the would-be mugger. " _O, you want to call an officer to 5_ _th_ _and Palmer?"_

 _"_ _You got it,"_ said Barbara, the faint sound of typing in the background. " _So what did Tam say?"_

Mugging apprehension complete, Tim launched back into his story.

At the end, Dick and Jason were laughing loudly and Barbara was chuckling. Damian smirked.

" _It is obvious that woman clearly knows how to put you in your place, you warthog-faced buffoon."_

Absolute silence.

Damian continued running across the rooftops, not noticing that Dick was no longer following him. He had stopped dead, staring at Robin in amazement.

Finally, " _Did he just…?"_

 _"_ _Oh my god, was that?"_

 _"_ _Did he just say what I fucking think he said?"_

Nightwing broke out into a big smile. " _He liked it! He really liked it!"_ He started running after Robin again.

Damian continued smirking as the incredulous chatter continued, Drake and Todd starting what was going to be an epic quote war.

Grayson and Father had been right. It was a classic movie and truly did have everything. Though it would have been better without all the kissing stuff.


End file.
